Tuesday, June 30, 2015

My failed career as a rock goddess

So long ago, and far away, before the million fires of the inter webs raged into the night, back when folks often concentrated on things for minutes and even hours at a time, back then in the dark ages of libraries and FM radio, I... I became a teen.

I'd say if they existed back then I would've been a Goth, but Goths did exist back then, and I wasn't one.  I was considered a stoner, long after any interest in drugs or experimentation stopped.  I'm told I would've been called a Hessian in some circles.

Tuesday, April 14, 2015


Landscape

Sunset.
The landscape freeze-frames.
Clouds slow their motion,
and the sun halts in the sky.

All to show off,
for a long slow moment,
this day's quietly gathered masterpiece.

One day for us.
A lifetime for a cloud.

February 16th, 1997

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Emily

EMILY

Welcome to the world, 
little one.
We're awfully glad you could make it.
And very pleased to meet you, indeed.

You have a lifetime of learning, ahead.
I should warn you, 
some of the faster thrill rides 
can be frightening.
And there will be bumps and scrapes
along the way.

But time enough for that, later.
For now, it's enough to say
that you have every potential in the world 
right at this moment!

And you are surrounded by many
to love and care and teach 
and help you grow.
Sweet dreams
and sweeter wakefulness,
friend.

1997

Monday, September 29, 2014

SUBJECT CHANGE



the subject is phobias-
Your fear of love is obvious,
locked down entrances to your heart,
we slip what we can through the mail slot,
look for carelessly unguarded windows.
Somehow, we always find a way in.

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Attention Span



It has come to my attention
That you don’t give a damn
And I should leave this place

Yes it has come to my attention
That you just don’t give a damn
I can see it on your face

Monday, September 22, 2014

Road Trip

Photo by George Armstrong (This image is from the FEMA Photo Library.) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons


"Detour" said the sign, and I agree.
It's been a long, long time.
I must have missed the turnoff
to take me back to the main road.
I've been lost on these little backroads 
and I can't find my way free.

Left turns are a great way
of catching a glimpse of what lies behind you.
But life in the rearview mirror
is closer than it appears.

Step lightly on the brakes,
or the past will overtake you.
It's a shame that life has so many
damned blind curves.

Well, if the road is winding,
at least the scenery's nice.
And it looks like it's all downhill
from here.

July 18th, 1996

Mutual Paradox© Cammie S. Sinor, 2014

Insomnia



Up past my bedtime again.
I sleep best
when I wrap myself up in the belief
that you are here beside me.

Curled up around my memories,
along with an old, tear-streaked
shirt of yours
that probably smells more like me
than you at this point.

I convince myself
that the pillow is your back,
until I can almost feel you
breathing up and down.

So I drift off,
for an hour or a minute,
wake cold, restart the process,
and work myself fitfully toward
morning.

March 3rd, 1997
Mutual Paradox© Cammie S. Sinor, 2014

Transformation



My life is different, now.
It revolves around car repairs and bills
instead of chases and thrills.
I write, instead of poems, lists.
Life is planned now.
It doesnt just happen.

Sometimes I miss my freedom.
I was so sure of my identity, then.
Even if it was mostly a fantasy
of my own making.
Now, it's too rooted in reality.
Mirrored reflections grow unkind.

Yet, I am not blind to the past.
I remember pathos, loneliness, yearning.
Looking for a place to be me,
a woman to share with,
a life of fulfillment.
This I don't miss.

For I have that, now.
No longer lonely, I'm loved.
No longer empty, fulfilled.
No longer Knight Errant,
I am...
Lord of the Manor?

Mutual Paradox© Cammie S. Sinor, 2014

DIANA

I have chased her across many lifetimes. I don't remember when or how, in which lifetime I finally realized this. It was a gradual awareness. At first, I would simply recognize her on first meeting; recognize her from some place deeper than my mind. My gut would cry out to me that this was the one. I would tighten up, preparing for the chase, the hunt, the eventual capture. This time, it will happen, I'd think.

IN SIGHT


If I could give you just one gift,
I'd show you the monsters under the bed
are not near as terrifying
as the ones in your mind.

I'd free your heart to love,
take down the walls that lock you in.
Show you how much you're hurting you,
and how much that hurts me.

If I could give you just one gift.
I would give you the gift of confidence...
in yourself, in your strength,
and in your ideas.

I'd give you clarity and sight,
an end to your confused run.
The perserverence to follow
a dream to it's end.

But all I can give you 
is my own love and support,
clear and true. 
Is it enough

Just keeping you in sight?

Mutual Paradox© Cammie S. Sinor, 2014

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